Ever been in a conversation and walk away feeling not so great about yourself? I recently had a business lead conversation with someone and noticed, as we spoke, that I became hugely self-conscious. My self confidence went right out the window. How fascinating! What happened to trigger that reaction within myself? What fears of mine were elicited by our conversation?
Ultimately, what I realized is that I unconsciously gave my power away. There was something in what the person said that sparked a feeling of unworthiness, and then… poof! I’m believing my perception of that person’s story about me.
I believe “our power” is our sense of worth. It is our deep trust in ourselves -- what we fundamentally believe about ourselves as human beings.
How often do we unconsciously give our power away to another in growing our businesses, making tough decisions in our leadership, or communicating in our relationships? In those instances, we believe the answer, the “truth” lies over there, rather than valuing and taking action on our own brand of boldness, and leadership.
I know too many business owners who, in giving away their power in meetings or conversations, have felt frustrated and stuck. They’re not speaking up with emotional courage. They’re not asking good, curious, open-ended questions. All of a sudden, they are half-heartedly living someone else’s story. How sustainable will that be? What’s the impact on their team?
Mastery of our power has everything to do with what we believe about ourselves, and taking a stand for it.
So how to grab our power back? Here’s what I’m trying out:
1. First notice your emotions. Where are you hiding?
2. Get curious and ask yourself questions. What do you really believe about yourself? What are your intentions?
3. Body language. Change your position. Open your arms, square your shoulders, uncross your legs, take up more space. Your mind responds to your body. Own it.
4. Breathe. Before you say anything, take one or two more breaths. Pull from your center.
5. Speak not to convince anyone. Speak from your integrity and heart – your lightening rod. You are enough.